Confessions of the Man Who Knew (FREE .pdf)

IMG_2107I came across this ‘zine I made back 1988 (!) and figured the best way to celebrate my birthday would be to give it away as a free download. Remember, kids, you get what you pay for. (https://gumroad.com/l/sSEo)

A buddy asked me recently if I sold many of these zines back in the day and honestly, I don’t believe I even sold ANY. But that wasn’t the point. If you had made a ‘zine, you had something to trade with others. I had quite a stash as one point of these self-published, paper-based blogs.

I’m not exactly “proud” of this little work, but I still get a kick of how I combined mimeograph and xerox for a two-toned effect. I remember building a lightbox of sorts in order to get the different colors aligned. I was clearly over-impressed with computer graphics, which is a choice I lament. I wish I had hand-drawn or at least hand-lettered this little wonder. I was also delighted to remember that I briefly operated a bumpersticker company called “Threats Midwest.” I had to block out their long outdated P.O.Box info on the last page. It felt good to remember that I’ve been a publisher of fringe-y materials for half my life.

But the most interesting thing is how the sentiments expressed are scary in their prescience. I continue to be a snob, and I still struggle to overcome that snobbery and to recapture my naivete on a daily basis. “Neo-naive,” indeed. But most chilling is that in the quarter of a century since I wrote this zine, I’ve had three close brushes with suicide–all of which involved a noose. I got quite a shock when I saw that sketchy representation on the penultimate page.

If you download this, pay it forward and call your Dad, OK? If that’s not possible, pet a dog, go for a walk or just generally be good to yourself somehow.