FAQ: The Beard, e.g. What’s Up With It?

Oddly enough, this IS a frequently asked question.

I grew up wanting to be Gandalf. I used to sport a full and lush “Santa” style beard that is until it turned gray, then white and my body type changed to where comparisons to that jolly holiday gift-man became embarassingly apt.

During my recent “Second Adolescence” I trimmed my whiskers to something more resembling Colonel Custer, perhaps HonorĂ© de Balzac, though truth be told I was going for Sir Graves Ghastly. My darkest fear is that now instead of Santa, I just look like Burl Ives  as the animated snowman.

Yes, I use “moustache wax,” a concoction I make myself with equal parts beeswax and petroleum jelly. I have been known to twirl the tips of my ‘stache while contemplating devious plots and the predicaments of my characters.