 Losing my head …to Find my Work Long-time subscribers will know my fondness for painting “tiny goddesses” (Check out an earlier newsletter about them here) These small studies let me let me settle into the work of painting. They allow me to forget the concerns I have outside the studio and set an intention for my session. Technically, I can practice wrapping light and dark tones around a shape to give the sense of a form. And I remember what it feels like to hold a brush. More spiritually, when I’m painting these ancient sculptures, I feel like I’m connecting with an artist from eons past. I’ve painted dozens of these little pieces and this particular one, “Blue Mama,” is where it all started. This little goddess appeared when I was just showing up to do the work, not expecting anything great to happen. I mixed a couple shades of blue and started painting on the back of a failed painting that I’d cut up, rather irregularly (!), into practice panels. I was still learning to start with the darks and gradually move toward the lights, and I remember feeling rather amazed when the process worked, when the figure emerged. It felt like she rose out of the panel. Blue Mama arrived when I was painting, not when I was worrying about painting. It felt significant that she did not have a head — and not just a chill reminder that misogynist violence against women even extends to representations of women. Sometimes for me to really embody my sense of creative abundance, the generosity I need to create, I need to lose my head. I was doing the Work, not the Worry. Peter Elbow in his book “Writing Without Teachers,” describes two “games” artists can play with their work, the Believing Game and the Doubting Game. The believing game is that first flush of creativity, the divergent thinking where everything seems to fit into the work. It’s like being in love in Paris in the Springtime, drunk on new relationship energy. The Doubting game is that of shaping, cutting out, modifying and refining, measuring and testing. It’s like the love of an elderly partner regularly counting out a week’s pills for their Beloved. The Believer takes the lead during a first draft; the Doubter gets one through revision. Elbow’s point, I think, is they’re best done separately, alternating on the path to a final draft. I find these games both useful, especially as descriptions of extremes on a continuum. When I “lose my head,” I am NOT advocating for Believing over Doubting. Both Elbow’s games ask deeply artistic questions. They are games to stay IN the work. The head I lose helps me avoid another game, a head-game: Worry. Worries range from the obvious to the insidious, and they ALL lead away from the work. Blue Mama reminds me that sometimes something wonderful happens when I show up and stay in the work. HOW DO YOU STAY IN THE WORK? I am no poster child for worry management though I do have a couple tricks for when I find it hard to leave life concerns at the studio door. When I’m painting, I currently find an audiobook works – shout out to long-winded epic fantasy, in particular. My critical worrying brain loves to keep track of character names and places. When I’m writing, I find listening to groove-oriented jam-band instrumentals effective – shout out to Ozric Tentacles, in particular. These tricks are working for me right now… and they might not work for you. What does? |
 Would you like a reminder to “Do the Work, not the Worry?” I have made STICKERS and MAGNETS of Blue Mama and I will gladly send one for FREE to any newsletter subscriber. Just reply to this email address with a physical mailing address, and your choice of a sticker or magnet. Blue Mama stickers and magnet are also available in my ON-LINE ART STORE . Here’s a tip to Newsletter Subscribers: make a note about your favorite button, sticker or magnet when buying a print or original, and you might find one tucked in with your order. |